Troubled Times

i watched a spectacular avian dance
over a busy highway road,
as the troubles of the world
lay heavy in my mind.

in the age of wars, freedom is a rhetoric
and the darkness of night is unforgiving.

i danced to the sound of strings and wind,
in a place of love and expression.
but soon the music ceased to play
and i knew the dream was over.

oh troubled times are these
when the mother is aching, and the people are unsure.
oh how these days are ever shorter
and the joys of life are overshadowed.

in the cold city streets i walked
quickly and in fear,
never greeting a person to talk
and never stopping to rest.

in the age of power there are many without
and the speed of life is a dangerous thing.

but i will welcome the sun on my back
and cherish the warm love of my friends,
i'll take solice in the fleeting moments
of happiness and freedom and peace.

oh troubled times are these
but still the beauty moves me more,
and the power in all that is real and good
will carry me through my days.

Disposable Workforce

Howard's new IR laws are consitant with the relentless drive to deregulate and disempower the workers of Australia for the purpose of corporate freedom. These laws are one more step in 'the great' push for a globalised economy where what matters is corporate power and profit, and the rights and security of the people mean very little. In an already fast-casualising workforce, the youth of this country see very little hope for secure fulltime work - particularly in trades and 'unskilled' jobs. Add to this budget cuts in education and welfare and we see a scary pattern developing: The Disposable Workforce. -- I'm 21 years old, afraid for my future and very angry at a government who cares less and less about us and more about the dollar. Not happy John.

The Endless Noise

It is an ever-moving organism of opposing directions. The sounds I hear are rubber on tar, engines firing, horns, tyres screaching, sirens, exhaust breaks and, occasionally, a thumping car stereo. All this mixes together to form the broken song of the highway. Broken but never silent. I try to ignore it - I have the radio on and the fan next to my desk. But after a time I find these things are not particularly soothing. Indeed they are simply constant sounds to remind me there is no break of noise here. There is no silence. Ever.

I walk out into the hot sun and to the edge of the road for a break and a cigarette. I do this perhaps five times a day. It's much louder out here, for the glass window pains of the shopfront do not separate me from it. It seems that every time a truck goes by, another goes by in the opposite direction, and then another. It's when the trucks go by that I feel most aggrivated.

So I stand here looking at the highway and all the vehicles moving at speed to wherever their occupants are going. The windows are generally closed and reflective, so that I don't see the people inside. Sometimes I toy with the fantasy that there are no people inside and that the vehicles themselves are alive. Fuel is food. The engine is the heart. Exhaust is waste. Where are they all going? How could so many people be moving in opposite directions all at once - all the time? And why?

For a breif moment there is an absence of traffic and I hear a bird call - I feel a slight breeze on my face. I think about how different it would be if all of the people were walking past me instead. I imagine an old dusty road with travellers and farmers and merchants. I wonder what stories they would tell when they stopped to greet me. I curtail this pipe dream when the traffic resumes three fold and I suddenly long for silence.

I walk along a stretch of this highway twice a day, and my place of work is on it. It is a constant manifestation of the grinding cogs of an industrial world that frees and yet oppresses us. When the sun is hot and the traffic does not cease and all you want is peace and quiet it makes you think: this is about one kilometre of highway. Consider the city, the state, the nation, the planet. Consider then industry, aeroplanes, mining and the great machines of deforestation.

I can go anywhere. I could drive to Sydney in an hour. I could fly across the world in less than a day. But all I want is peace and quiet. Some shade from the hot sun.. the sound of bird calls in the trees, insects buzzing around the flowers. The feel of the earth and grass underneath me. My water from a creek. My food cooked over a fire. Nowhere to be - no responsibilities but to survive.

But I cannot have these things. Yes I can go camping - I could take a holiday. But eventually I must return to the "real world". I must sleep in my bed, set my alarm and go back to work. It seems to me when I think of these things, that there is a profoundly un-natural order to humanity. Planet Earth is no longer our home. It has been concreted over with roads and factories and houses and air strips, football fields and office blocks, to the extent that we have built an artificial planet on top of the old one. The patches of the natural earth that are left are like parks for us. They are places we can go when on holiday and look at the native animals who still live on the land.

There is a yearning inside me that needs the highway to stop moving. A struggle between the freedom and the oppression of the world. Of all the peoples of the world - and maybe those of us who have come the furthest in this "brave new world" are indeed the furthest away from home.

What's going on?

I know, I've been very slack with this blog lately. In fact, I've pretty much abstained from it for a couple of weeks. But I'm back..

There is a certain barrier inhibiting us from the level of happiness that we want to be at. It certainly isn't a barrier between us, or a relationship issue. I should say there are certain barriers. Individual contraints. Cara is feeling a little bit lost, in that she is not sure what she's doing with her life. I am feeling sick of this job. We are both over being broke. And I feel a routine of these symptoms is cause for concern.

I'm very much looking forward to my lease ending. I'm sick of paying rent for a place on my own, particularly now that I'm not really even living there. May. Then it's likely that I will move in with Cara, or if not I will find a share house. I want to shake this job big time. I've been trying to get a job at Stella call centre. It's directory assistance. It's in Wollongong and I can work nights or afternoons or day or whatever. Still waiting for someone to call me back about that.

A fleeting proposal to travel. A realisation that we have nothing to lose. But we are both locked into leases and I don't think we had strong enough intentions. So I am going to reassume my plan of going to Uni. Thinking about it now though I'm not sure how possible that is going to be. See, I have to do a part time bridging course to finish my HSC. I'm not going to get full Youth Allowance for that because it's not full time study. I should go see centrelink and see how much I am elligable for. And what if I cant find a suitable part time job to suppliment? That's kind of where the idea for travel came from. I thought maybe we could go up to QLD for six months and work, then I could save some money and come back and start next year. I dunno I need to look into it more. I think I am pretty keen on starting UNI ASAP though.

I am very unsure of the future.
what will the next metamorphysis be?
when one thing is accomplished,
there must be something new to persue.

I am worried a little about myself. My head has been so full of the thoughts of my reading lately that I feel I have lost a little of my humanity. I feel I am always a little on edge. I feel a little cynical. Slightly too close to being prepared to neglect my friends. A little absorbed? Do we trade innocense for this kind of knowledge? Do we trade time for it?

I dont know. Let the currents of life decide, for they have not failed to enrich my life thus far.

ok. peace.. - dan

Quick visit

Ello people, just popping in very quickly to put some links here that I want to remember. Sorry I haven't been posting but I have been busy reading. Hard core lots of reading. Am in the process of starting my own activist/informative blog for my own research purposes. Anyway, I will update this blog soon.. when I feel like writing about my own life again...

dahrjamail.com, zmag.org, antiwar.com, truthout.org, indymedia.org.uk, internationalclearinghouse.info, counterpunch.org, voicesuk.org, greenleft.org.au, venezuelanalysis.com, resistance.org.au

Night swimming

Spontanaety is a wonderful thing. Last night Cara and I were sitting on the couch watching tv when we decided we would go for a walk to the beach. We grabbed a couple of towels and started walking. It was relatively cold and lightly raining. Being susceptable to getting the chills easily in water, I was a little apprehensive. We got down there and the beach was illuminated by the full moon (even though it was cloudy), or perhaps moreso the steel works of Port Kembla. We stripped off to the nud and jumped in the ocean. It was absolutely beautiful. The water was warmer than the air and the waves were calm. It felt great to be in there. It's a different thing at night.. something that I've never experienced. No one around, it's quiet and peaceful.

Today is valentines day. As much as I hate commercial "days" I am going to take Carz out for dinner tonight.

Happy Happy Joy Joy *thwack!*

Well, it's been a few weeks now so I think I can safely say that I'm in a relationship with the most beautiful, lovely girl in the world, Cara. I'm happy. There is a big difference with her compared to the other relationships I've had. That is, I know this is right. It feels right. There are no doubts in my mind. I thought about the relationships I've had in the past and realised that all of them have started instantly without knowing the person first. All of them! This is different, because we've known eachother as good friends for almost a year. We've learned about eachothers ideals and beliefs, personalities and habbits, even families.
"Shirly, it's so exciting to be sleeping here in this new room.." - Billy Bragg

Now I have a few things to catch up on:

Liams birthday, 26th of January -

Kristy & Connor, Cara and I headed up to Wottamalla in the nation park for Liams 23rd birthday. It's one of those ocean inlet type deals where you've got a beach separating the ocean and an inlet, or is it a river? I don't know. But regardless of the technical details it's a right wickid spot yeah? Lots of Liams friends came, we had food and wine and guitar and swimming and sunburn... hehe good times.

Something I thought was really cool.. there were a group of Africans, maybe 50 of them. They had a big stereo set up and were dancing on the sand. Was very cool to see and other people were getting involved too. Being Australia Day (Invasion Day) they played the anthem couple of times which was a bit hows ya father but everyone was very peaceful and it was very multicultural up there on that particular day.

The only other thing I can think of writing down at the moment is that Kristy, Cara and I went up to the blue mountains to Liam's place on the weekend just past and had heaps of crazy fun, drinking, playing cards and table tennis. We went canyoning on Monday which was awesome. Did empress again but I handled it like a pro this time. Cara really enjoyed it too. She was very brave and I'm proud of her for abseiling down a 40m waterfall!

Right.... I'm going for a ciggie now, peace - dan